Forgotten Days
by Jesse girl06
Summary: Suze is feeling a little more than depressed when something happens between her and Jesse that is going to change her life more than she knows.
1. Chapter 1

I'm standing in the rain that hides the tears that are streaming

Down my face, all because of a guy, I never thought I would be this

Upset about a guy not loving me, but just as I'm about to turn back

To my house I see him in all of his glory appear before me he runs

Towards me 'I'm sorry querida I'm sorry I love you' and then I melt

As we kiss.

I wake up breathless again it's that dream again that same

recurring dream, but I know that how ever hard I wish that dream

to come true , it won't, ever it's impossible. Plus when I think about

the whole situation I always come round to the conclusion that

Jesse's death was entirely my fault, because if I hadn't sat there

next to him in the car that day and been yelling at him he would

have been paying attention to the road and seen the other car,

then I wouldn't be sat here by myself wishing, just wishing that he

was there holding my hand. But the room is empty apart from me

and it is dark and I can't help feeling that this is the end of the line

for me. I haven't left my room in days I hardly eat or drink anything

no ghosts have come to me in ages and worst of all well I think I'm

going mad, I keep hearing voices in my head saying stuff, weird

stuff, things that don't really make sense stuff like 'hmm it's not

looking to good is it' and I just want to scream what are you talking

about? But I don't, I stay alone in my room waiting for something

to happen, anything except carrying on living like this, not that I am

really living just watching the world go by. Because a life without

Jesse doesn't count as a life to me.


	2. Chapter 2

I know that if I talked to anyone or saw anyone they would try and

persuade me that he's not worth it, he's only a guy. But Jesse is not

just _some_ guy, he's different he got a second chance at life and I

blew it for him and this time he didn't have another chance, Jesse

was gone, no one would understand though, they don't know how

long we've known each other they don't know what we've been

through and they don't know what it's like to love Jesse, you can't

just forget him you can't just get over him he's one in a million and

he was _my_ one in a million, getting used to it or getting over him

isn't an option, living like this isn't an option, and you know what

I really think, living isn't an option, I have to end this torture that's

become my life. I run into the kitchen and pull open the drawer

where there's meant to be a knife, but it isn't there I look

everywhere but I can't find that damned knife, then to make

matters worse the voices are screaming at me 'If you look at the…'

'shut up' I scream 'just shut up' I shout running back into my

bedroom and looking for something to end my constant misery,

when I remember the window that looks over the busy street

road hundreds of feet below me I make a dash across the room

towards the window, I try to force it open but it wont budge I push

it harder and harder until my knuckles turn white but it won't move

at all. I lean against it as tears start streaming down my face 'why

won't you let me go? This isn't your life let me live it how I want to

go away leave me alone why don't you just let me die?' I scream

shouting over the top of the voices over everything that you could

possibly hear but when I finally do shut up I hear a voice in my

head, but it's not the same voice as usual it's a different voice

a familiar voice but not exactly a calming voice but I leaned my

head against my apartment wall and listened 'hey Suze it's me Paul'


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer; by the way I'm not Meg Cabot I never have been never will be so sorry to disappoint you if you thought I was and if you want to read a story by her stop reading now if not carry on…**

'Paul?' I whisper I am so shocked I can hardly get the words out

'Suze I have to tell you something, I have to tell you that I love

you' Paul's voice said, maybe this was a flashback or something but

with out images, maybe this is what he said to me on the last day

of school but as hard as I try to remember whether he did, I can't,

everything seems so hazy, just like a dream I suppose I don't

really want to remember Paul so maybe I might have blocked all

memories of him from my mind without me really noticing, I

wouldn't be surprised if that had happened, what with the way

things are going with me at the moment, I'm screwed up in the

head I'll even admit it because I don't care if they locked me up

for being a little cuckoo, it's not like anything would really be

different, just me being depressed on someone else's property.

'Suzie darling' I hear mom's voice in my head, this is starting

to get a little crazy even for me 'mom, Paul get out of my freaking

head go away leave me alone why can't you just leave me alone'

I shout banging my head against the wall, not that it hurts I am

Immune to pain now that Jesse has gone, I don't really think about

It. The talking in my head soon turns to shouts and then I hear lots

Of screams and crying 'aaaaaahhhhhh will you just shut up for one

Second' I scream banging my head harder against the wall 'please

Just shut up please' I whisper I feel that my voice has gone and I

Start to cry, and then all of a sudden all the noise just stops dead,

Everything is completely quiet, the voices have gone from my

head-for now-,the noise of the traffic from outside is no more,

everything, even the sound of me isn't there anymore,

there is complete and utter silence, and that's when I heard a

knock at my door.


	4. Chapter 4

My breathing quickens as the knocking gets louder and louder, I

Slowly walk over to the door and turn the handle and then fling it

Open, I look but there is no one there, I am just about to close the

door when I see a parcel on the floor, and written on it in big block

capitals in hand writing I've never seen is; SUSANNAH SIMON so

I pick the parcel up and close the door as I go back into the house,

I cautiously open the package inside it is a note in the same writing

in thick red marker pen; WE'RE PULLING THE PLUG that's all it says

nothing else no from so-and-so just that, I throw the note on the

floor as the room seems to drop below freezing point temperature,

I look at my goose bumped covered hands written all over them is

Those same words, I look around the room it's written all over the

Walls, scratched into the wood of my bed, written on my condensed

Window, I run into the bathroom I look at the mirror written all over

It in my lipstick are those same words, I scream and start breaking

The mirror until it shatters into pieces. and then I stop still in the

middle of the room, my breathing is really quick now my heart is

beating really fast too almost too fast really really fast you don't

even have to feel for my heart beat you can just hear it, and then

all ofa sudden it goes really fast, I mean really fast, a jab of pain

sweeps through me and I scream closing my eyes and when I do

open them again I'm in a hospital, but I'm not in the bed myself I'm

stood next to the bed my mom is sat next to the bed so is Paul and

Andy and they all look really upset, I don't understand why until I

Look who's in the bed, it's me I'm just laid there unconscious wires

connected to me and the beep of my heart beat on a monitor, I

watch two doctors stood a little away from the unconscious me

'she's been in a coma for four months now she's not got much

chance of surviving' says the first doctor a tall young guy with black

hair, the second guy a middleaged bald man with a big brown

beard nods his head 'such a tragic accident her boyfriend died I

instantly was such a knock on the head' the young doctor nodded

they

both sighed then I watched as they went over to a life support

machine and unplugged it, wait that's my life support machine

'nooooooo' I scream 'don't I'm still alive I'm here' but it's too late

I'm already gone, I scream as the hugest pain I've ever experienced

Creeps over my body and it's a while before I realise that I'm not in

The same white room I'm in a completely empty bright white room,

Tears start to stream down my face and it's not the fact that I'm

Most probably dead it's the fact that Jesse most definitely is, all this

because of a guy, I never thought I would be this upset about a guy

not being able to love me let alone love me and then I see him,in all

of his glory he runs towards me and hugs me 'I'm sorry querida I'm

sorry I love you' and then as I melt as we're kissing I remember my

dream and I think if the life I was leading after the crash was just

like a dream then maybe my dream is reality, but I'm too happy too

care then Jesse pulls back and smiles at me and takes my hand

'come on' he says tugging on my arm 'where are we going?'

'you'll see' Jesse says and we run off into our next life together

where we can spend it in peace, no ghosts, no Paul, no death and

best of all a life with Jesse. And for once I was complete.

_The End_

_A bit cheesy I know but oh well _


End file.
